First of I'm happy there's an active community for this game, it has a special place in my gaming heart

Now to the problem. I want to play Lan games with a friend, but it doesn't work. I have windows 7 64-bit, and my friend has xp. The aow2 on the xp comp crashes when it tries to join my games, and I can't even find the games when it hosts.
Is this a common problem? We have the same versions and firewalls off but it still wont work.