A Halloween 'treat' for all my Age of Wonders friends:

The Raven

Once upon a midnight dreary, while I pondered weak and weary,
Yet another try at Queen El's 'Athendore'
With frustration my pants crapping, suddenly there came a tapping,
As of some one gently rapping, rapping at my chamber door.
`'Tis my pizza,' I muttered, `arriving at my chamber door -
Only this, and nothing more.'

Ah, distincly I remember how my game plan was dismembered,
And I slowly lost my temper, beat my head against the floor.
Tested by this tough scenario; - vainly I had sought to 'borrow'
From my books cheat codes that would show how to beat this Athendore
How to beat this expert level map that Elquin named Athendore
Nameless here for evermore.

Presently my soul grew stronger; hesitating then no longer,
"Pizza Guy,' said I 'or take-out, truly your forgiveness I implore;
But the thing I am explaining is I was engrossed in gaming,
And so beer-soaked was my brain thing when you tapped upon my door
That I scarce was sure I heard you' - here I opened wide my door;-
'Domain of darkness', nothing more.

Deep into that darkness peering, long I stood there wondering, fearing,
Dreading that my missing pizza was no more.
But the silence was unbroken, like the sound card needed stokin'
And the only word there spoken was the whispered "Athendore!"
This I whispered, while distantly a neighbor yelled “stupid *****!”
Merely this and nothing more.

Back to my PC turning, bloodshot eyes in sockets burning,
Soon again I heard a tapping somewhat louder than before.
'Surely,' said I 'surely that is something at my window lattice;
Let me see then, what thereat is, and this mystery explore -
Even though in films investigators always end in pools of gore; -
I think that warning I'll ignore!'

Open here I flung the shutter, when with many a flirt and flutter,
In there stepped a stately raven like a mascot from Baltimore.
Not the least obeisance made he; not a minute stopped or stayed he;
But, with mien of lord or lady, perched upon my monitor -
Gazing down at 'Age of Wonders' from upon my monitor -
Perched, and sat, and nothing more.

Then this ebony bird beguiling my sad fancy into smiling,
By the grave and stern decorum of the countenance it wore,
'Though thy countenance be somber, sure thou art no goblin bomber.'
Ghastly grim and ancient raven wandering from the nightly shore -
Tell me what's your Age of Wonders website handle I implore.'
Quoth the raven, 'Nevermore.'

Startled at the stillness broken by reply so aptly spoken,
'Doubtless,' said I, 'what it utters is its only stock and store,
Caught from some P-B-EM master playing a Needles map disaster
Swearing fast and swearing faster cuz my maps are just a bore -
Swearing over all those lost turns that no fate could now restore
Of "Never-nevermore."

Then, methought, the air grew vile for the bird had dropped a pile
That seeped down from my mousepad onto the tufted floor.
"Wretch,' I cried, 'thy God hath lent thee - against my game he has sent thee
You on my quest-event pee so that I can't win Athendore!
I swear you won't prevent me from completing Athendore!
Quoth the raven, 'Nevermore.'

'Prophet!' said I, 'thing of evil! - prophet still, if bird or devil!
By that Heaven Games above us - by thy wizard ladder score -
Tell this soul with cheap beer drunken' if before hard drive's kerplunkin'
I shall finally finish that map that is known as Athendore
Finish and triumph over that map known as Athendore?'
Quoth the raven, 'Nevermore.'

'Be that word our sign of parting, bird or fiend!' I shieked upstarting -
'No diet coke and pizza will you get!' my mouth did roar.
'Leave no black plume as a token of that lie thy soul hath spoken!
Let my losing streak be broken - and get off my monitor!
Let me hit the ctrl-S keys and get off my monitor!'
Quoth the raven, 'Nevermore.'

And the raven, never flitting, still is sitting, still is sitting
Sometimes pecking at my keyboard from above my monitor;
And his eyes have all the seeming of a shadow demon dreaming,
And at the keyboard screaming I'm still playing Athendore
And the end screen of that scenario after playing turns galore,
Shall be witnessed - nevermore!

(Thanks to Queen Elquin for making a map that rhymes with "Lenore")

To read the original text go to: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Raven